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SMOOTH CRIMINAL (the true story)

SMOOTH CRIMINAL

By Zachary

Annie was laying in a pool of blood in her dingy apartment.

She had been beaten brutally by her boyfriend only minutes before.

Annie had a history of falling for all the wrong men.

She had never experienced love from her father.

Annie’s father never called her by her name.

He called her “Sh*thead and berated her constantly:

“Why can’t you do anything without fu*cking up Sh*thead!”

As a child, Annie endured this abuse on a daily basis…

Annie felt worthless. She never considered suicide, but she did
dream of fading away during her sleep many times…

“If only I could slip away in the night no one would notice or care…”

Annie could never bring herself to leap in front of a subway or jump off a bridge…

“Too messy and bloody” Annie thought…..

But now, Annie was a bloody mess. Her boyfriend had seen to that…

He didn’t like the dinner she had prepared for him:

“ I work my a$$ all day and you dish me out this sh*it you useless b*itch!”

Then he punched her in the stomach, kicked her to the floor – he struck her with a brutal blow to the mouth and almost knocked out several teeth – a stream of blood flowed from her mouth…

Annie moaned in agony…

“Shut up b*tch! You deserved that!”

Annie’s boyfriend left her apartment.

He left her on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood….

Annie knew she needed medical attention, and fast….

She was sure she had suffered broken ribs in the attack, and she felt
a burning pain in her stomach….

Crawling slowly, she made it to the phone and dialed 911…

The dispatcher was cold.

“What is the problem?!” he snapped…

“Please, please help me – I’ve been beaten” Annie begged

“I’m in great pain, I think I may be bleeding internally…”

The dispatcher, without emotion said:

“5 to 10 minutes someone should be there…”

You could tell he had a lifeless, robotic manner about him….

Annie was in such agony that she began to hear a voice:

“Annie are you okay? Will you tell us that you’re okay?”

But, Annie was far from okay.

Unless help arrived soon Annie would die.

Again Annie heard the voice of comfort:

“Annie are you okay? Please tell us that you’re okay?”

Annie wanted to answer the voice, but she was so weak
She was unable to respond to the voice that gave her hope…

It took 40 minutes for emergency services to arrive…

By then, Annie was dead…

She lay lifeless in a spreading pool of crimson blood…

The police officer looked down at Annie’s body..

He took out a notepad to begin recording notes on the crime scene.

The police photographer arrived and coldly snapped pictures –

you could tell they had all done this countless times before…

Annie just laid there – eyes wide open….

The blood was like a pond encircling her body.

The police officer’s notepad had minimal notes –

his shift would soon be over and he couldn’t be bothered writing vivid details about a textbook murder case like this one….

He was bored…

As he wrote his notes, he thought:

“Oh well, I guess it was her doom…”

Annie was still lying on the floor in a pool of blood with her eyes wide open…

Closing her eyes required too much effort…

Comments (20)

@cheluvmj4evr:

Thank you so much! ! Smiling

wow this is sad but great job i was capture right away!

@journalism16

Thank you! Smiling.....

This is sad, keep going.

@ everyone:
Thanks for your compliments and feedback! Smiling
Zachary

I read somewhere that the song was inspired by a true story that happened when he was very young and doing nightclub acts with the J5. He was exposed to way more than his young mind and heart could comprehend. This actually happened and he was so affected by it , he never forgot it and always felt for this poor abused woman who was left for dead.

amazingly well thought! Shocked

@ everyone:
Thank you! Smiling

Very sad. My heart went out to her because she died all alone & nobody seemed to care. Great job!

@5809:

and I thought I knew you so well...Sticking out tongue. but I didn't know you were a writer. Short and to the point I must say....very intense. I also liked "Dirty Diana" - except as I posted under that thread - I wish Diana's dreams had lasted longer. Now <em>she</em> is no longer......hmmm......maybe you could write about Susie and make it for "21 and over".

P.S. - am sending you a p.m.

@ everyone:

Thanks for all your supportive comments!

I greatly appreciate them all! Smiling

I'm writing DIRTY DIANA at this very moment! Smiling

Zachary....

Zach, I love it...

I emailed you about it, keep on going!

Hugs, Caroline

Very sad and emotional, but true in today's living....................
thanks for posting
your a really good writer
can't wait to hear dirty diana

WOW that was hard to read...it's sad because this is the reality of today. Keep up the good work Smiling

I like this..... well done!

Zachary, this has brought tears to my eyes. Poor, poor Annie, to die so alone and so unloved. This story would break Michael's heart into pieces. I hope Annie is in heaven now where she belongs with the Angels who will love her for eternity. You did a great job with your story, but it is so, so sad.

@ doggonelover:

Yes, I wrote this! I wanted to turn one of Michael's songs into a short story, using some of his lyrics as part of the tale. I wrote the story in less than 10 minutes - it just sort of came to me.

I'm writing a short story based on Michael's "Dirty Diana" - we'll see how that one turns out! Smiling

If there is enough interest I'll post the "Dirty Diana" here.

I have to admit, I was very shy to post this "Smooth Criminal" story.

Thanks for the compliment! Smiling....

Zachary

whoa...you wrote this?...wow!great fiction.

this is really good;; quite devastating, of course, but the story's great:]
thanks for posting,

-faith;]

so sad. but really good writing