Lots of thoughts on MJ -- I just have to write and share this with you (his fans) or I can't live on...
I cry over his death cuz we'll never see another Angel walking on earth again. Yet I had him until I was 21 years old, I knew him and saw his work listened to his music and had friends that were really fond of him, but I never liked him. I actually didn't like him until a month ago (March 2011) cuz I've been hearing so much about him. So I began to look at his stuffs and found out what made him so charming!!! Yeah I lived under the rock my whole life.
About almost a week after I started looking into his stuffs, suddenly I just broke down and cried cuz I finally understood why so many ppl cried about his passing, he died way too young, he looked so beautiful, youthful and still had so much to offer when he died. He was taken from us by those greedy devils. His passing was indeed a great human loss.
Apparently some ppl (if they are really still human), For example the owner of this website thought Michael passed the threshold of worth more dead than alive, and knew exactly how many ppl in the world loved him, plus Michael owned 50% of the owner of this website. Fully knowing the more cruel way an artist died the more grief will turn into profits. So the end result was he wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to his family, children, and fans, and I don't even know if he knew he would never wake up again on the night he died. He awakened on the other side. This is why I don't buy any new things about him, we all should just download or buy his previous released stuffs second handedly.
I know Michel half-participated in the conspiracy that killed and robbed him at death. But just like what Jermaine said in the Larry King interview, “I wish it was me lying there. ’They’ don't see the person who Michael was; ‘they’ only saw him as a product. Michael should still be here with us, and no matter what the charge that ‘Dr.’ (if he is still a doctor) was convicted, Michael can’t come back. ‘They’ knew Michael had dependency on drugs, so 'they' found a way to kill him.” Jermaine didn't believe Michael wanted to die, "Michael loved life, if a fly comes in he'll open the window and let it fly out." I believe in these words totally. Sometimes I wonder if I had known Michael all my life or when he was still alive, would his fate be changed?? Be taken even earlier, or be able to live a full life?? Hopefully is the later.
Michael Jackson devoted his life to the entire world, he gave us the music, the dance, calling us to make a change, heal the world. He was a gentle, pure, yet tortured soul. What hurts me the most is no matter what the positive messages he’s trying to convey in his songs or deeds, those messages didn't cross into the minds of those devils who murdered him.
On the other hand, Michael had said that the tradition of great artists usually have a very very sad end, cuz the “company” do take advantage of them. And he was quoted speaking to both Lisa Maire Presley and the son of Deepak Chopra that he rather go like Elvis, instead of Marlon Brando. It is not clear if he unconsciously lived up to his premonition. Funny cuz Elvis’ death was ruled accidental overdose, yet Michael’s was ruled homicide… But anyone know you would be out of your mind if the only way that kept you going in life or sleep at night was through drugs. I will never understand as long as I live why Michael didn’t seek help, lived in denial, isolated himself from family and true friends, nor does why his mother didn’t step in to help her son. Nor does why his children didn’t call 911 earlier to save their dad. Even dogs or a 3-year-old can call 911 to save its owner and ppl’s life.
I wonder if Michael sees his family’s reaction and our reactions to his death now, would he changed his mind on keep depending on those drugs? But I think for someone as intelligent as Michael he must have known how much he meant to this world, even though he felt like the whole world turned its back on him.
We all know for a fact that someone else initiated Michael Jackson’s death; his death rescued the music industry, or his "company" again, made TVs high-ratings, magazines were able to sell various commemorate issues, and boosts in sales of newspapers. His death also made those devils millionaires/billionaires in a mere one year period. His will was forged; his family according to Katherine hasn’t received a “penny” from his estate since his death. The beneficiary of his insurance goes to AEG, yet AEG claimed that they weren't aware of Michael’s drug use, when his insurance covered “overdose” and “Dr. Murder” was assigned to him by AEG. He was exploited completely as an artist and a person. This is how selfless Michael was, and how he sacrificed his life for everyone. He was here to show us both the good and evil side of human being.
I am just glad that at least when Michael died, he was happy preparing for those comeback concerts, he couldn’t be happier even though he knew that he probably would never make it. I believe he rather die than not doing something he loves and feels most comfortable about, instead of keeping a low profile and always being taunted by ppl who don’t have a life. He gave his life to the world. It is only at his death will make the world realize how important and precious the person he was, be fully vindicated, opened himself to the new audience and be bigger in death than in life.
Death has a lot of definition, clinically, biologically or spiritually. You could be clinically dead (the state when paramedics found him), but not biologically dead yet, your body is not dead until 24 hours after you are pronounced dead. The brain could be dead, but the organs are alive, this is why you can donate your organs to another person after you die. I somehow wish Michael could donated his organs so he would continue to live on… According to the doctors in emergency room, Michael was revived at a slow heart beat for 10 minutes before the medics lost him. This is why his father Joe filed a wrongful death suit against “Dr. Murder”. Had Michael arrived to the hospital earlier, chances are he could be still here with us. But just like La Toya had said, "Maybe God wanted him there with him". Michael’s spirit could be summoned by God by the time paramedics found him, it has left his body and there was nothing modern medicine could do to restore life back into his body.
When paramedics found Michael, his room was on heater and there was fire in the furnace. The room was hot, now “they” claim that Michael was cold due to the heavy drug use. But whoever has some common knowledge would know that people tend to survive better in the cold weathers/environments. Another contribution to his death is due to Michael was not in a healthy state, he wasn’t eating anything. “They” deliberately made sure that Michael would not survive. “They” injected him the amount of Propofol (powerful anesthetic) that would be used in major surgery without the consent of Michael. Is this their "mercy"??? To let Michael painless when he dies… Who do “they” think "they" are to decide ppl’s life and death????? “They” made sure Michael was clinically died (eyes dilated due to relax of muscle) for 20 minutes, or even up to a few hours before "they" called 911. A precious life just slipped away.
I can’t imagine the pain his family must felt going through these trials. Seeing that “Dr.” and his lawyers…etc laughed at court as Jermaine said.
My friend cried for two days after she learned about his passing back in 09, I remembered I had a thought of "Why it wasn't his father or one of his brothers?" (No offense) when I learned the news and "I don't want to live in a world without Michael Jackson" even though I wasn't his fan back then. I was able to cope with his death cuz my mom told me it was his time. 2 years after his death, the more I learn about him and his death, the grief I feel right now is incomparable. How could we live in a world when people care nothing but money, greed and lies as Michael experienced?
Somehow I feel betrayed by Michael, just like what Jermaine said when he saw Michael lying in the hospital “How could you leave me??” Yeah Michael, how could you leave us when the world needs you the most??? When you should still be around for at least 3 decades??? Why didn’t you take care of your body for us, at least for your family and children??? Why maybe any day would be a good day for you to die cuz there’s nothing else in this world you haven’t experienced (except watching your children grow up and grow old), been through the highest an artist could only dream of, and been through the lowest an artist could ever experienced. Yet you still left us and gone on to another journey without notice???? Michael Jackson in my opinion is very very selfish and stubborn in some way. If I can talk to him right now, I want to ask him are you happy now that the world is forever yours?? that we are forever yous??
Just like I said I don’t know if he completely understands the magnitude of ppl’s grief and sorrow about his passing. We are not just crying like we lost a brother the way Michael described when ppl heard MLK was killed in his book Moonwalk. To some of us it felt like the world has fell apart, coming to an end, and life is meaningless without him. He basically had the power to make ppl despair cuz he was unreal, he was magic. I feel just like his little brother Randy said, “It makes me don’t want to do anything for a year.” But our life has to continue, and there’s nothing we can do to bring him back.
I question God again and again in this past month, Why?? Why wasn’t I privileged enough to witness one of his concerts, to get a glimpse of him, or to know him personally?? Why wasn't I born in his era??? If I could be 10 years older than I am now, I would have more memories of him!! Why can't I go back in time and save him?? Why when there are genuine ppl who love him and will treat him with his best interests at heart but has no connection to get close to him, he was always approached by ppl who wanted a piece of him and able to surround himself with all the enablers and murders at the time of his death??? Why Michael?? Why was he taken away from us in such a cruel and tragic way???? Why do I officially have to live in a world without him when I finally learn to appreciate him? And when my career and my life are just about to began, I have to know that someone as good as him was murdered due to the evil and shady side of business. That this world is full of lies, copycats, inner-pessimists, ppl who are devoured by jealousy, and materialism???
I AM tho, happy that it’s better to know now than never, and it’s never too late to know about something, especially Michael Jackson. I like the lines someone wrote, “God broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best”. He's really gone too soon. The world is lonely and dark without Michael, but he was here to make the world a better place, and left us invaluable gifts for generations to share and enjoy. That is the legacy and mission we all should carry on. We all die at some point of our life, we don’t get to choose the way and time we die, but the thing with Michael is different, because Michael Jackson is forever. And we will never say goodbye.